The Diagnosis That Built an Empire w/ Rich Fettke

Jeff Albaum

Did you pivot? So your plan was you said you're gonna open up a chain of fitness centers and what was that pivot like? What information did you take in to be like, I'm actually gonna stop this and go into coaching?

Rich Fettke

Part of it was I was sick of being a rent a friend. You know, being a fitness trainer, lot of times the clients are like, do I have to do this today? And it's like counting reps and all that stuff. So it's like, I lost my passion for it because I didn't focus on the right target market. It's my fault really. Had I focused on athletes and people who want to go to the next level and I think it would have been more enjoyable. And so when I heard about this thing called coaching and I went in and did their first training class,

Jeff Albaum

Mm-hmm.

Rich Fettke

I was like, this is it. I found my calling. It's like helping people achieve their goals, helping people grow their businesses. I finished my business degree before I moved out to California. So I had, I was armed with that. So all that kind of led to, to that pivot and that shift. was like, do I want to keep training people or do I want to start coaching people? And it was easy decision.

Jeff Albaum

And that's almost like you solve your own problem because you kind of have that self-selecting bias of the group that you're coaching, presumably. They want help. They want to be better. They want to be, you know, there for a reason.

Rich Fettke

Yeah, I have a coach that gave me a really good line of a while ago or quote. I was complaining about, know, some people that I knew that I was trying to help and support and help them grow. And I could see so much more for them than they could see in themselves. And I was so frustrated because they wouldn't take the actions to get better. And he said, help the people who want it, not the people who need it. I thought it was just huge. It landed with me, help the people who want it, not the people who need it. So the people.

who want it, they're gonna lean in, they're gonna be coachable, they're gonna take the actions. And the people that I think needed, looking at them and judging them, thinking, they need this help. It's not really fair to them and it's not really fair to them. I mean, to me, it's gonna just waste all of our efforts.

Jeff Albaum

Mm hmm. And so how did you use a lot of your clients from the gyms in your new coaching business? Like, how did you start growing that?

Rich Fettke

Yeah, that was the beginning. Yeah. So in the beginning I was training these clients and I'm like, I'm going through this new thing called coaching is training. Would you like to start doing some sessions with me? And I did a real low introductory rate and it would do their fitness training session. And then we'd go and sit at my desk and I do a coaching session with them for about 45 minutes and they loved it. They got a lot of value. And then after a while I would say, okay, now I'm upping my coaching fee. So I up my monthly coaching fee. that was, yeah, that was the start.

Jeff Albaum

Mm-hmm.

Rich Fettke

and then just started to go and speak around like at the Chamber of Commerce and attend business meetings and networking things and would meet clients that way.

Jeff Albaum

And what was the book deal? What was that first book for?

Rich Fettke

That was a huge breakthrough for me. I was, with Simon and Schuster. So I wrote a book called extreme success. came out in 2002. And so I'm an adventure athlete. love to surf and skydive and rock climb and mountain bike, all that fun stuff. And so the extreme success is about comparing extreme sports and adventure sports principles over to business and life, how to deal with fear, how to stay calm in the moment, how to stay focused and effective. a lot of those.

things carried over to the book. And, yeah, it was wild because I first wrote a book proposal called the power of partnership. And we shopped that around. I think it was 16 publishers said no to it. And then I met with this marketing consultant and she was interviewing me for my talks and what my focus is. And I told her about this close call skydive I had where I almost went in, almost ate it. And, and she's like, how come this isn't in your book? And I'm like, I don't know because it's like,

Jeff Albaum

Okay.

Rich Fettke

It's a business book I'm writing. Who wants to, you know, who wants to read about adventure sports? And she's like, a lot of people do. There's a lot of people who read about climbing Everest that don't want to climb Everest. So, so I wove that into this new book called Extreme Success. And we had six publishers this time say, fly out to New York city. We want to meet with you. I went out with my agent and went around to these different publishers from Warner books to Viking Penguin and,

Jeff Albaum

Ha ha.

Sure.

Rich Fettke

went into Simon and Schuster and just had an amazing meeting. I think it was a 52nd floor, big marble table and, you know, really good memories, going back, looking back on it. And...

Jeff Albaum

Totally, and how old were you at this point?

Rich Fettke

Let's see, I was about 32, 31. Yeah. Yeah.

Jeff Albaum

Okay, so you were just you were rocking and rolling and when did you meet Cathy?

Rich Fettke

I met Kathy six months after I moved to California. so I moved out in January, met her in the summer, in a personal development workshop. was like a three month program where you set three goals for the 90 days and there's accountability. have a coach and, I got to my buddy that I was supposed to be taking on buddies teamed up with. He flaked, didn't show up for this first meeting.

And so it was an odd number of people. So the facilitator was like, okay, rich, I'm going to part you partner you up with Kathy and Tricia. So he put me with two, two women in the program. And all of sudden I had a new goal in this program. It was Kathy goal achieved.

Jeff Albaum

That's amazing, man. And I mean, we could have a whole episode about working with your spouse, but was the book that you were shopping around the power of partnership, was that about working with partners in business or about working with your partner in life? Like, was that a relationship book or was that a business book? Or both? Okay.

Rich Fettke

yes, very much about the power of having another person, a business partner, a spouse that supports you and you support them. but also it's carried the coaching principles over. So going through getting trained and certified in co-active coaching, call it. It's where you're not coming in as a mentor or an advisor saying, this is how you do it. It's drawing out from the other person, very Socratic method. So that is like.

you're partnering with the other person to it's like one plus one equals three. You're coming up with ideas that either of you would not have come up with on your own. So that's, that's the real part of power partnership, whether it's in business or in life.

Jeff Albaum

Got it. how long have you guys always, like basically since you've met, because obviously, you know, it's a very similar mindset that you both share. like, that's what a cool story about how to meet your spouse. Have you all have you always from the beginning worked together, like in a professional capacity as as co-founders and as as business partners since, you know, the beginning of relationship? Was that later?

Rich Fettke

Yeah, that's pretty awesome.

I mean, as co-partners on many things, know, raising two daughters, now raising grandkids. and in the beginning, I, know, Kathy was, in the, in the media doing news and things like that work for ABC and, CBS and all that as a reporter. And then when, so kind of, had her own career. had mine speaking and coaching. then, after a while, then she got pregnant. She was a stay at home mom and she kind of kept a.

a radio show on the side, like a paid one that she would do almost like having a podcast back then. And she was doing that. It was all on coaching principles about improving in growth and personal growth. And then right after my book tour for extreme success in 2002, now I'd been coaching for whatever it was seven years then. I noticed a weird freckle on my leg. I'm a ginger. So I got a lot of freckles, but this was a weird one. It turned out to be melanoma.

Jeff Albaum

Yeah.

Rich Fettke

And, which is the most deadly form of skin cancer. And there was also one on the, temple they found and it went pretty deep. So I had a couple surgeries. The doctor said, I want you to get a CT scan to make sure it hasn't metastasized and spread anywhere. And the CT scan showed four masses on my liver. And so that was scary and he was concerned. And then, so I had to wait almost a month for an ultrasound and I got the ultrasound and that showed four masses on my liver.

So then they booked me with an oncologist and I remember just the oncologist looks up and I said, so what does this mean if it's spread to my liver? And he goes, it means you probably have about six months to live. it's such an aggressive cancer. There's not much you can do about it really at all if it's spread to the liver. So that had Cathy freaking out, what am I going to do? And I had to wait for a PET scan, which is the most advanced scan for finding cancer. I had to wait another several weeks.

But in that not knowing, um, Kathy's like, what am going to do if rich passes? And we have two young daughters and at that point she didn't have a job. And so she pivoted that radio show and started to interview people about wealth and how did you achieve wealth? How did you accomplish your wealth? And a lot of them are real estate investors. So in that meantime, luckily I had the PET scan. showed me 100 % cancer free, which was the

Hallelujah moment. they said, what it probably is, it's just, homangiomas are like clusters of blood vessels that 20 % of the population has somewhere in their body as we're, you know, forming a babies. Sometimes these blood vessels create little clusters and all that. And so it was harmless. Didn't hurt me here. Here I am the 25 years later or more and, still here doing well. but that was the impetus, for Kathy to kind of discover real estate investing.

Jeff Albaum

you

Rich Fettke

and say, this is what I want to do. And so that's what we started to do. We started to invest ourselves. She ended up having Robert Kiyosaki on her show. This is back in the early days when the cashflow game had just came out and Rich Dad Poor Dad had just come out. And so he was talking to Kathy and he said, you know, I think that anyone in California should sell at this time, sell your high priced California properties, your rental properties.

and take all that money and go to Texas because that's going to be the next boom. And so that's what we did. We went to Texas. We bought five or six properties in Texas, little rental properties. And that's what started our company Real Wealth. And we just, with people listening to the show, Kathy would share the story and then her listeners were saying, I want to invest. And Kathy became a mortgage broker and we just started to help people invest in real estate. And now that little company has now

88,000 members and we've helped investors acquire almost 8,000 rental properties. So kind of a desperation founding of the company, but that's where we are today.

Jeff Albaum

That's insane. That's insane.

Rich Fettke

Yeah, it was insane. It was, it was painful, man. Not knowing when you got six months and you got two little daughters, it's like, it was the hardest thing I ever went through emotionally.

Jeff Albaum

I'm sure what did you maybe this is silly question, but like You got that news on a I don't know Tuesday Wednesday, whatever it was you woke up the next day Like what did you what did you literally do? Like what was your what it was your days? Like how did you structure your time at that point?

Rich Fettke

That's a great question. that's I remember when I came out of the doctor's office, I was alone. I went into my car and shut the door and just started to pound my steering wheel with my fist crying. And then I calmed myself down, went home, told Cathy with tears in my eyes. And then next day was like, I just worried, you know, honestly, in the beginning, I wasn't, I wasn't very stoic. And so I was worried. I didn't know what was going to happen. And

Jeff Albaum

Sure.

Rich Fettke

And it was maybe a week later, Kathy set up an appointment with this guy who calls himself a healer. And he's just asking me all these questions. And then he said, so tell me about your mindset. And I said, you know, like 70 % of the time I feel I'm going to live this. I'm going to be OK. I'm going to get through this. But 30 % of the time, I think I'm going to die. I'm not going to see my daughters grow up, get married and everything. And he just stops me and he said, I never want you to think that or say that again.

From now on, you tell yourself, whenever that thought comes in, are 100 % going to be fine. 100 % you're going to be okay. Just keep that belief in your head. So it was a healing message. And after that, whenever that little gremlin came into my head saying you're going to die or something, I'd be like, Nope, I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. And so whether it's a blind optimism or what, but it gave me hope and it allowed me to just keep moving forward and keep up with my coaching clients and keep a good attitude.

Jeff Albaum

Sure.

Rich Fettke

and just kind of wait it out and hope for the best.

Jeff Albaum

Can we unpack that a little bit? Because I think what you just said is amazing, but I think it's also really hard to do, right? Because that sounds awesome. if you have this crazy, and like this is the most extreme example, but if you have this thought of the doctors are telling me that it's not looking good, yeah, I think even a 30 % chance is like, that's still very optimistic. like you are already an optimistic person to begin with, but, and then someone tells you, don't think that.

So how do you take that advice and how do you actually apply that to your day to day? Because I imagine it's super hard.

Rich Fettke

You know, it's, I think it carries over all the time. It's...

What does the negative get you? I guess is the question. You know what? If I focused on that inner gremlin, that that fear, all my energy would have gone into it. And it's just like it would be like stoking the fire. The more I focused on it, the more it would grow and give me reasons why I'm going to be dead. So I just almost like it was a structure or a tool of like, OK, whenever that comes into my head, I just know I flip it over and I say, I'm to be OK. I'm going to be fine.

Jeff Albaum

Hmm.

Rich Fettke

And it's almost like an affirmation, right? And it's like, they do work. you know, it's like, it's, it's those neural connections in our brains. You know, you keep thinking the same thought and it literally is laying down more myelin from neuron to neuron. So you're going to start making that, that thought a habit in a way. And it's just the opposite when you flip it over. So I started to make that my habit. And you know, now today, after going through that money, anything,

Jeff Albaum

Yeah.

Yeah.

Rich Fettke

It's like, I'm here, I'm alive, I'm with the people I love. So it's like, I'm so less affected by big stressful things like that.

Jeff Albaum

Sure, sure. When you first started doing those, we'll call them affirmations, like trying to switch those thoughts, did you believe them or were you literally just saying them?

Rich Fettke

I believe them except when I didn't. Yeah. It was just like, you know, there's a, there's a part in you and anyone and all of us, when we say I'm, and I'm to start this business and I got this, this is going to be a successful business. And you know, there's going to be a thought that's going to come in. Yeah. But what if you fail? But what if you know that, and it looks for evidence, you know, and basically it's that we were born with that fear. The fear was born with us and

Jeff Albaum

Yeah

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Rich Fettke

It's actually doing its best job in extreme success. write about make fear your friend because that fear has protected us from embarrassment, from danger, from ridicule, from all these things since we were little kids, but then it starts to overprotect. So by having a conversation with that fear and just saying, Hey, what do you need right now? You're going nuts. You're telling me don't do this or you're going to fail. You're going to up a speech and you're to fail in front of the room or whatever.

Jeff Albaum

Mm-hmm.

Rich Fettke

And then you just say, okay, fear, what do you need right now? And a lot of times that like inner voice will just say, I need you to be more prepared. I need you to really have the speech down. I need you to, it's a, if it's an investment, I need you to really do your due diligence and make sure you go over the performer and you, you back up the numbers and make sure that's, know, so it's kind of like this great little, thing that just comes up and pops into your head. That's protects us and sometimes over protects us. So the,

stare fair in the face and just ignore it doesn't really work too well, not for me.

Jeff Albaum

Fair enough, yeah, that's fair enough. I guess I wanna dig a little deeper though, like did you, because I imagine there must have been so much fear at that time that like you almost can't, you can't prepare, there's nothing you can do in that scenario, right? So like, I guess what you were saying before is like, no, you just have that mindset of like, I'm gonna be okay. And like, you said blind optimism, so maybe there's a part of that that is, but.

Rich Fettke

Yeah. And this faith, you know what I mean? Faith is like believing in something that you can't prove. So yeah, there's a lot of prayers. There's a lot of faith. And I think that that's it. It's like focusing on the faith of I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be taken care of. I'm going to come through this. yeah, but this, yeah. Even when that fear is like, fear is like the devil, right? Sometimes, even though it's like trying to protect us, if it, if you let it win, yeah, then you're going to be.

Jeff Albaum

Yeah.

Right, right.

Right.

Rich Fettke

just living in hell on earth.

Jeff Albaum

Man, that's insane. And I'm obviously so glad that it was a mistake and that you ended up obviously being okay. So from there, you have this innate, was the drive stronger than ever? Or was it more just like, because you could have sat back on your heels, you could have been like, I'm just so happy. But you kept going, you kept pushing. So what was that like?

Rich Fettke

Thank you. Me too.

I was kind of a...

You know, like after someone passes someone close to you, you know, they say one of the best things you can do is get lost in, in work and action and keep moving. You know, don't just sit there and wallow. Don't stare at the floor. And it's like, move, make things happen. So I think that was it. It was my outlet. I have a lot of energy, so I needed to focus that energy. So was like, I'm just going to focus on, you know, getting my next speech. I'm going to focus on, helping my clients. I'm going to focus on being a great dad.

Jeff Albaum

Mm-hmm.

Rich Fettke

And after the whole experience, led to me discovering my purpose because before that I really didn't have a clear purpose. There was so many things in life that I loved and wanted to do and all that. But I was that young guy and my, my purpose was making money back then. So after this, it really shifted things for me. And I was on a hike, in this open space and I was out there and I was actually listening to, have you heard of Brian Johnson and Philosopher's Notes?

Jeff Albaum

Mm-hmm.

I don't think so, no.

Rich Fettke

He was really good. Like Philosopher's Notes, if you check that out later, is a great resource. I've been following his work since probably 2005. He takes like the best books of all time from personal development to business to spirituality. And he boils them down. He was one of the first to do it. Boils them down into like a six page PDF and a 20 minute audio. So I was listening to a Philosopher's Note and it was all about purpose. And I stopped it and I just kept walking, took my earbuds out and

Jeff Albaum

Cool.

Rich Fettke

thought about what is my purpose and it just came down and it it seems like a silly one. It's silly in a way, but it's to live an awesome life. And it sounded really selfish. But when I start, when I was saying like, okay, what is it that I'm here for living an awesome life to me is making a difference in people's lives. It's coaching people to achieve what they didn't think was possible. It is giving back and contributing through donations and charity. It's being an amazing dad and husband and now grandfather.

So it's like a, it's a simple purpose, but it's all encompassing. And I like it because I can constantly work and focus on my purpose. So that came from this kind of flipping, flipping things upside down of like, you know, and I didn't really focus on money right there, you know, in my, you know, it is abundance, you know, that's part of living in the more abundant I am, the more abundant I can make others. So

Jeff Albaum

Right, right,

Were you, you said you were on a hike and you said you were listening, but was there like this moment that it just kind of came to you?

Rich Fettke

It was just like he asked in it. was doing a, I forgot what the book was that he was going over. It was like purpose driven life or something like that. And so then he always stops and we'll say, so think about that. What about you? He always says, what about you? What is your purpose? And instead of just saying, Hmm, I'm not sure. I just stopped it. And that's when I started to walk and I'm like, okay, what is my purpose? So I kind of like, it was like, okay, tell me I'm open. I'm open for it. And that just popped into my head, know, live an awesome life. And I'm like,

Jeff Albaum

Okay.

Hmm.

you

Rich Fettke

My first thought was that's kind of selfish. And then as I thought about it more, all those other things came up.

Jeff Albaum

Okay, and what do you, like if people come to you, you you said you're a father, you're a grandfather now, congratulations by the way, become a grandfather, that's amazing. If your kids or your grandkids come to you and they said, you know, what, I'm trying to find my purpose. Any tips, any advice, like what should I do? How would you walk them through that?

Rich Fettke

Thank you.

the same way I would anyone. I'm a coach, so I would ask them questions. I would ask them questions. I wouldn't, you know, I would just say, you know, when you feel most alive, when you're lit up and things are just feel amazing. what is that? Tell me about a time in your life when you just felt incredibly alive and tell me about a time in your life when you were doing something for someone else that made you feel incredibly alive. You know, it's so usually that will, that will bring up something good. And then you can also say,

Jeff Albaum

Right.

Hmm

Rich Fettke

What's something that really pisses you off? What's something that really gets you angry and upset? And then boom, you take that and you flip it over on the other side of that is usually something purpose driven.

Jeff Albaum

Interesting. Okay. So it's a lot of questions, a lot of drawing things out of people. Okay.

Rich Fettke

Yeah, it's a process. Sometimes it takes years and years, right?

Jeff Albaum

I'm sure, yeah. you, and so do you feel now that, because you know, know, I obviously a big, I love personal development books. love, you know, self-improvement and constantly trying to grow and improve. And you always kind of hear about like, you find your purpose. So obviously talking to you, I feel like you have found your purpose, right? Like you are very, you can kind of tell just from the sound of your voice, the way you're talking about things, the way you're lighting up and you talk about these ideas.

Once you do that, once you kind of cross that threshold, is there now this other thing that you're kind of working towards? Does that make sense? You know what saying?

Rich Fettke

Yeah, I know what you're saying for sure. Yeah, because a lot of people say, what are you up to or what's next or what's new and exciting for you, whatever. Yeah, it's, yeah, that's a tough one. It's the biggest, most powerful thing for me is back when I was in college, I was, I would record the classes. I was obviously, you know, I was, my learning disabled was a hyperkinetic disorder is what they called it back then.

Jeff Albaum

Yeah.

Rich Fettke

Today they call it ADHD. You know, they did back then. So when I was eight years old, you know, it's like when I was young, I was broke. And now after years of hard work, I'm no longer young. You know, just that's the way it feel. It's like, Whoa, that happened quick. But it was, there was something, you know, about

Jeff Albaum

Okay.

Rich Fettke

Oh, the college, that's what I talking about. When I was in college, I would record my classes because I couldn't focus and I'd go home and I'd listen either in the car on my way home or at home at my desk. So I was listening to this, I had a microcassette and I just had this insight. I was bored with my studying. I took this microcassette that we used to have and flip it over in the cassette player and I hit record and I said, a day in the future of Rich Vettke. And I did this future self.

in visualization in a way, I just verbalized it and talked about me in the future. And it was me at probably like 40 years old and, which I would love to be that again, but it was this really cool experience. And then over the years I've continued to deepen that and I've taken hundreds of clients through it. When I do keynote speeches, I'll have the whole audience close their eyes and do some deep breathing and I'll take them and meet their future self 10 to 20 years in the future.

So that is now my driving force is my future self. I'm so clear on who he is. And actually the mentor in the wise investor is my future self. If I keep getting smarter and in better shape and more successful, that's he's my John Weiss is my future self.

Jeff Albaum

Hmm.

Man, so I did the Future Self guided audio that you did this morning. it was amazing, man. I think I had done it before. I think from the book, I kind of knew a little bit of the structure. And I love that kind of stuff. I love meditating. I love deep thinking. And I cried. And I didn't know that I was going to, but I was like, that guy's awesome. know, like I can't wait to meet him. But it...

Rich Fettke

Awesome.

No, so I love it. Hmm. See, I got a little teary eyed right now. See, it's like that's purpose stuff. That is this purpose stuff right there.

Jeff Albaum

Yeah, yeah, Yeah, so I mean, like, thank you for putting that out there because it's a really amazing exercise. And it's, I think the coolest part is that you can go do that whenever you want, you know, like it's available always.

Rich Fettke

Mmm, always always there. Yep. It's always right there. Your future self is always there to be your wise guide your wise mentor Yeah, so I do that all the time. So yeah, and if you want to share that it's just real wealth comm forward slash grow It's where people can listen to that. Yeah, it's free, know, you don't have to put your email in or anything

Jeff Albaum

Mm-hmm.

Totally. Yeah.

We'll definitely include a link because yeah, it's a super, it's like 10 minutes, think nine minutes and 45 seconds or something. And it's just a really powerful exercise. And I imagine it's, yeah.

Rich Fettke

Hmm. I love that. Yeah. So that's my driving for I built out. Now I've built out an AI future self. So he knows everything about me. It's me at 70 years old. So I eight years before then, but it's me at 70 and I can go in does AI future self that as I had Claude asked me all these questions about my confidence and what I've accomplished and who I am and who I am as a grandfather, all these things. And I can just go in and he gives me the ultimate coaching session.

Jeff Albaum

Okay.

Rich Fettke

It's really awesome.

Jeff Albaum

That's epic. That's epic. I wanna ask a couple questions about relationships with your spouse because I think you and Cathy have, at least from the outside, a pretty unbelievable relationship. it's really like I've...

Rich Fettke

Yeah, I love it.

Good, we fooled him. No, it's great. It's a great relationship. You have 29 years married now, coming up on 30.

Jeff Albaum

I've gotten to see you guys speak at least one time in real life and just listen to you guys on podcasts and stuff and it's awesome. The way that you guys compliment each other and the way that you're obviously working together is stressful. But so I wanna ask a couple questions just like, in a spouse, in a relationship, how do you juggle everything? mean, yeah, just like what, if your kids come to you and say, I'm struggling in my marriage, whatever, what would you tell them? And you can't say I'm gonna ask questions again.

Rich Fettke

man, yeah, it's like the old partnership is the hardest ship to sail, right? It has been challenging, but it's also been awesome. It's been way more awesome than it has been challenging. But the challenges have brought us closer together and we better understand each other and all that. it's, you know, it helps to find the right person, you know, and I definitely found the right person. She's made me so much more of who I am today by far. I can't even imagine life without her.

Jeff Albaum

Mm-hmm.

Rich Fettke

So that helps to find the right person. And then it also helps to consistently communicate on a deep level, like not just the surface stuff, but Kathy and I have hired marriage marriage counselors, relationship coaches. We did a whole, I think it was 12 weeks of Tantra coaching, which is all about connection and really getting to know each other and really connecting in a deep, deep level before the sexual stuff.

you know, is brought into it, but which is great too. But it's, you know, it's, I think that's the key. And as a man, the biggest thing that I've learned is, curiosity. So being curious is, has helped us move through so many challenges where instead of coming in and doing the old typical guy thing of like, I've got the answer or let me help you solve this. It's just being

Jeff Albaum

Yeah.

Hmm.

Rich Fettke

very curious. listened to it. I listened in, read a great book called Getting to Zero. And it's all about getting to that level where if you're out of sync and one person's up here and one person's down here, how can you get to just zero? So you're both understanding each other. And he's got an exercise called Lufu, L-U-F-U, and it's listen until fully understood. So I'm always telling myself, okay, Lufu, Lufu, listen. And do I truly understand her? And then I'll just ask her questions and I'll say,

here's what I'm hearing. Let me see, make sure I understand you and I'll say back to her. Here's what I understand. And then she'll say yes. And also this, you know, and then I'm like, okay. And when she feels heard, everything works.

Jeff Albaum

Yeah, and I'm sure it goes both ways too, right? So like as you're, I don't know if loofooing can be a verb, but as you're loofooing, she's loofooing and so you're, man that's amazing. How did having kids change you and then change your relationship with Cathy?

Rich Fettke

Right? Yeah. Yeah. If you both commit to it, for sure.

It was, you I was in such the mode of when I moved out to California that I'm not going to get married. I'm not going to have kids, which is funny. And then I met Cathy and Cathy had a three year old from her previous marriage. So she had been divorced just for about a year and a half. when I met her, probably two years and then, and she had a three year old Karina. And so I fell in love with Cathy and I fell in love with Karina and I was like, okay. I love being, she calls me Papa.

So I love being Papa. This is awesome. And then was funny. We were just talking about last night with our younger daughter and her husband and just saying like, they're talking about when they're going to have kids. And I was the one that's like, let's have a kid. Let's have a kid. Another one. And she's like, can I just have a year? You know, she just got a job at ABC again. And she said, can I just have one more year? And I was pushing for it. And I was like, of course. And so then, so how did it change our relationship? I mean, it just.

It just deepened our partnership, you know, just deepened us as what we create, what we co-create together, you know, being co-parents is huge. It's a massive responsibility and it's a fun responsibility.

Jeff Albaum

Totally, totally, totally. now, and now you said you've become a grandfather. So how old is your grandchild?

Rich Fettke

We have two, so we've got a six year old Leo and we've got a three year old Mia. So it's almost three. is in a, yeah, it's just, they're super cool. It's awesome. And so yeah, my future self is surfing and skiing with his great grandchildren. So it's, they fit perfectly in. So they're kids I'll be surfing and skiing with someday.

Jeff Albaum

That's epic. was it? like are all the cliches about grandparent like parenthood versus grandparent hood true? Like, yeah, go. Yeah.

Rich Fettke

I would say a hundred percent of them, especially the one when the kids being bratty, you get to just hand them back. Yeah, but no, it's great. And we've been through it. You know what I mean? So it's like, they can't play us like our daughters used to play us. It's like, I know what you're doing. That's a complete fake cry, you know? And you just call them out and they realize it. They're like, okay, this is not gonna work with Nana and Papa.

Jeff Albaum

Right, right.

Sure.

Sure, sure. Is there anything like from a parenting perspective like that you wished you would have known or advice you would give to new parents? My wife and I just had, we have a 10 and a half month old. So I'm selfishly asking, but.

Rich Fettke

Yeah, no, that's great. I love that you're you're looking to to be a better parent. For us, the thing that our daughters say was the biggest game changer and the biggest difference between us and other parents is they as long as they were honest with us and transparent, they could do no wrong. So if they came home and said, like, I did this, whatever, I smoke pot or something like that, we're not going to beat him up and, you know, and grill them. We're just going to say, tell me more about that. It's a loofoo with them.

to understand why that happened, why did you do it, how did you feel about it, what do your friends think, what do your friends do? And so we got to have this real inside information really of knowing what's going on in our daughter's life so we could help more coach them instead of telling them how they need to live, we would be able to coach them and be like, is this the best choice for you? Have them see it and recognize it. So Cathy went through coach certification too after.

Jeff Albaum

Hmm.

Rich Fettke

After I went through it, she's like, man, his communication skills have really improved. So she went through it. And so we were able to bring coaching to our daughter. So I would say that would be a great thing for any, any, parent, new parent would be learn as a book called co-active coaching. You'd learn a lot through that or even better is like, just do a basic coaching course on how to coach anyone. And that carries over to your kids.

Jeff Albaum

That's awesome. Thank you. I appreciate that. How do you think about, because obviously you guys have done very, like you said, live an awesome life. That includes a lot of abundance. And so you guys probably, you are very hard workers and also imagine like you're very successful. How do you think about raising kids around success and money and keeping them grounded and kind of trying to balance that? Like, how do you think about those things?

Rich Fettke

Absolutely welcome.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, great.

Yeah, you know, in the beginning of our relationship, we were literally counting quarters, you know, just trying to make it work and really, you know, trying to get coaching clients, you know, I'd lose a coaching client and be like, man, what are we going to do? And, you know, Kathy was working her job and all that. then, so Karina grew up, with very little money and abundance. but we still found ways to have cheap fun, you know, lots of camping trips, climbing trips.

Jeff Albaum

Mm-hmm.

Rich Fettke

and things like that that don't cost much money, is they're really fun, even going on hikes and things, you know. And then, you know, that was the way it was in the beginning with Krista. But once we got real wealth started, that was 2003. Our wealth started to grow. We started to help more people. We started to invest more in real estate. And then we got to a level where it was, you know, a good amount of abundance. And what we've always done, I think, because we came from

Kind of like middle class. And when we got started, we had barely any money that we kind of carried that same thing through about, I don't to say like having our kids be entrepreneurial, I guess is the best way to say. So we never gave them handouts. we would pay them for projects, you know, if they'd say, can you know, can I clean the garage? And we're like, sure. And they clean the garage and we'd give them 10 bucks or something like that. And so, and then they would also be very creative. They would.

Jeff Albaum

Hmm

Rich Fettke

You know, said it, Krista would set up like she would make cookies and, know, do the, the stand on the side of the road and make money that way. And so I think that that was the key for us financially was, teach them to be self-sufficient, teach them entrepreneurship. And now they're both entrepreneurs. They, know, they both have their own businesses. Our older daughter has an amazing email marketing company. She works with Manscaped and Allbirds and she some pretty high level clients. Bigger Pockets is one of her.

clients so it's really cool to see that so it's like well it worked I guess

Jeff Albaum

That's amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The proof is in the pudding. The proof is in the pudding. Man, that's so cool. Dude, I feel like I could talk to you for hours. I do want to start wrapping things up here. so things I've been thinking about is like, what's something that you've changed your mind about recently, like in recent memory?

Rich Fettke

Yeah, yeah, super great on that one.

that I've changed my mind.

I mean, it sounds cliche, but around AI, you know, because like there was this thing about like, AI is taking jobs and AI is a shortcut or it's cheating. And the more I deep dove it, like about a year and a half ago, I went through a very expensive six week cohort with 56 other business owners. And I really learned the power of it and using AI as a thought partner where I'm the thought leader.

Jeff Albaum

Yeah?

Rich Fettke

So I'm the thought leader. I come up with the ideas and I'll work with AI and say, you know, interview me one question at a time about this, this context. And here's what I'm looking for. Here's your role. I want you to act, you know, serve me in this role and what it helps draw out. It's like the ultimate business coach. so that that's been a shift. So now it's like, now I look at AI, I'm like, my God, this is the one of the greatest gifts to humanity.

Jeff Albaum

Mm-hmm.

Rich Fettke

if you use it the right way.

Jeff Albaum

Mm-hmm. So overall optimistic.

Rich Fettke

Yeah, yeah, definitely. I'm very much an early adopter. I love new technology and new things and just geeking out on it. And even like Cathy's podcast was, it was the first real estate podcast on iTunes. iTunes back in the day is what it used to be on. But I remember it was 2005. I had an iPod and which Cathy didn't want me to get because it was expensive. And I'm like, I have to have it, you know, so I got it. And then I got this, this

Jeff Albaum

Okay.

Right, all right.

Rich Fettke

email from Apple saying there's a new thing called iTunes and you can download your songs and you can also podcasts on it. actually there was, could do the songs on iTunes and then they, they added this new thing called podcasts, which comes from pod, you know, from the iPod. And so I took the CD that she would get from her radio show and brought it home, burned it and converted it into an MP3 and uploaded that to iTunes and

Jeff Albaum

Right, right, right.

Rich Fettke

And that was a game changer. All of sudden, we went from a local audience to listeners in 27 different countries wanting to work with real wealth and wanting to invest through us. that was a, I don't know, just going back to the technology piece. it's like, whenever I see something new that's life changing, I love to embrace it.

Jeff Albaum

Right, right.

That's awesome. so obviously AI in today's day and age is that what, yeah. Yeah.

Rich Fettke

Yeah, I've been kind of going nuts on it. Geeking out. Geeking out for sure.

Jeff Albaum

spending a little too much time at night, I'm sure, being like, one more prompt. Obviously, you're a very intentional person. It comes through in everything that you say and do. Are you careful about what you allow in? And if so, what are the inputs that you do allow in? So what is the content that you do allow in or the books that you do allow in, stuff like that?

Rich Fettke

Yeah, exactly.

these are some cool questions. like these. I haven't been asked these before.

I guess I'm intentional about more what I bring in and less about what I'm trying to keep out. Like, you know, I love awesome violent, you know, movie or series or like watching Vikings or something like that. You know, there's other weird side of me is probably my Norwegian roots, you know, that just loves crazy to Kathy's like.

Jeff Albaum

You

Rich Fettke

You can't sleep all night unless you watch someone get murdered. So I do let that in, right? It's really weird. But on the flip side, I don't know what it is. It's probably adrenaline, you know, but on flip side, what I let in and what I I absorb as much as I can about positive psychology and growth and how can I be better? How can I improve? How can I have more discipline? How can I be more stoic? You know, so I'm constantly working on myself. I've got

habit trackers and I got a thing I check in with every single day that's like my three identities of loving man, I'm a lean, agile athlete and I'm a conscious leader. So I read over all my affirmations every day. So I'm very attentional about putting things in that are going to help me be better, stay positive, be stoic, be strong. So I think it's more of that. And like I said, the...

The Brian Johnson stuff, the Philosopher's Notes, Heroic is another really cool thing. That's that app that I use that does your identities and constantly reading and listening to audiobooks on personal growth, business growth.

Jeff Albaum

Do you, how do you think about like, I think the book is the gap and the gain. So how do you, how do you balance between you have this, this hunger to grow and do more and be better and also love where you are and love where you're at and be content? Like how do you think about that?

Rich Fettke

Love it.

Hmm

Structured gratefulness. So I meditate every day. So I'm going on almost four years now that I have not missed a day of meditation. And, know, in the beginning it was like the hardest thing to do. My brain would be all over the place. And then I learned that meditation is not about just having a quiet mind. It's about being present in the moment. So it's in the brain starts to change. And so now I'm much better at bringing myself into the moment.

Jeff Albaum

Wow.

Rich Fettke

And just like being grateful for what I have in the moment that takes the focus off the gap. So it's like, yeah, where am I man? I just, look around and grateful for, you know, going through that cancer scare, you know, deep in that it's like not, too hard to, to not focus on the greatness of what I have in my life. Yeah.

Jeff Albaum

Hmm.

Sure. rich, you're you're the best. Thank you so much. If people want to learn more about real wealth, where's where's the best part for them to go?

Rich Fettke

Thank you.

super easy, realwealth.com. That's the easy one. then wise investors on Amazon and you can get it anywhere and extreme success, scaling smart. All those are our books.

Jeff Albaum

Amazing. Well, thank you so much again for being here, Rich. I so appreciate you. You're a huge mentor to me and this has really, really been fun. So thank you.

Rich Fettke

Awesome, thank you. Great questions, loved it. Look forward to seeing you again sometime soon.

Jeff Albaum

Thank you. 100%. All right, bye everybody.